Mike and I played golf recently and I rediscovered how much fun it is. There was a time when it was less fun for me, which coincided with the time I cared how well I played. Fortunately, that time has passed. You get a score card on your cart, but I’d heard of a different method, so I thought I’d try it (see score card photo).
I’m generally not into keeping score. I love hitting tennis balls and never playing an actual game. When Ian was younger and we played Monopoly, I would lend him money, just to keep the game going. It’s not that don’t want to win, especially at Scrabble, but I’m not very competitive. That’s why I prefer playing games with my sister – it’s nothing but fun.
Our mother liked to keep score, and I’m not talking about games. We were raised on the concept of tally marks – keeping track of every favor given and repaid. If Margie gave someone something, she expected something in return. She made a mental note of every wedding gift she’d ever given and insisted Kathy and I invite all those recipients to our weddings so she would consider herself “paid back.” Her transactional mentality flourished as she aged, and she became even less forgiving of people’s shortcomings when it came to what she felt due; there was never a way to satisfactorily settle that tab.
Kathy and I don’t keep score. It’s never a question of who called or visited last; who gave or took more or less. Those numbers are real, sure, but if you add them up, no one wins.
The weight on the scale, the bank account, Facebook likes – there are enough numbers to judge ourselves by, without adding golf scores to the mix. I’ll stick with emojis.
I was born in Oswego, NY,
"I had always wanted to be a writer, but was impeded by the belief that to be a writer one had to be extraordinary, and I knew I wasn't. By the time I was ready to give up my academic career I had realized that while books are extraordinary, writers themselves are no more or less special than anyone else." The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield