Recently I slid down some steps and landed on both feet. Realizing the catastrophe avoided, I said, “thank you,” aloud, to my guardian angel. I know who he is, because the psychic I saw years ago, Carolyn, told me someone was watching over me – a family member on my father’s side from long ago, who I’d never met. He’d been with me for a long time, she explained, and “he stands strong with me.” When I asked her why him, she said that is “not for us to ask.” Meaning, just be grateful someone’s looking out for you. I have long felt that someone had my back, to keep the bad things from being worse. Of course, some of those bad things – some of the bullets I dodged or he took for me – were because of my own stupid actions and regrettable choices. So while I’m grateful, I also feel a little guilty for being so high-maintenance. Carolyn also told Kathy that she has a guardian angel -- our sister Margaret Ann, who didn’t live to the end of the day she was born. When I was young, I used to fantasize that Margaret Ann was alive, and that she’d be my friend in a way Kathy never was. I was annoying, not cool enough to hang out with Kathy and her friends, and I thought Margaret Ann would love me like Kathy didn’t seem to and our mother was unable to. But sometimes dark-thoughts Sema took over, and I imagined that she would more likely be Kathy’s best friend, and they would both go off and leave me behind. So, naturally I regressed to a state of childhood jealousy when Kathy told me about her guardian angel, which is so silly and certainly something I could never admit to… Me and my best friend.
3 Comments
Lee Sowder
3/15/2024 03:13:40 pm
I love this!
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Heather Rutherford
3/18/2024 01:16:30 pm
Funny, real and moving. You're a gifted writer, Sema.
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Chris Bourgoujian Twaddle
3/18/2024 08:19:36 pm
Sema was our real grandmother’s name…and Your sister passed around the same time my older sister passed. My mother never named her. She passed on her way out as she had the cord wrapped around her neck. I’m glad you shared. I remember my mother saying that Aunt Margie, ( my mom) , and her best friend all had miscarriages and that bad things happened in 3’s. Love your writing
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AuthorI was born in Oswego, NY, "I had always wanted to be a writer, but was impeded by the belief that to be a writer one had to be extraordinary, and I knew I wasn't. By the time I was ready to give up my academic career I had realized that while books are extraordinary, writers themselves are no more or less special than anyone else." The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield Archives
March 2024
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