I once started a job in July and gave notice five days later. I was miserable – it was not what I wanted to be doing; wrong environment; not the place for me. All these things I said to the HR manager, the same guy who hired me. He understood – these things happen. But as for the notice – would I be willing to stay until they found my replacement? Of course I would – it’s the right thing.
I remember vividly the feeling of sweet relief after walking out of his office. Now I could relax… and enjoy the job. And then become quite good at it. I stayed all summer. Eventually I transferred to a North Carolina office. Eventually I worked there for seven years.
That was my first clue that I shouldn’t “trust my gut.”
Being overwhelmed translated to insecurity, which morphed into the belief “I’ve made a huge mistake.” That exact sentiment, the “huge mistake,” has surfaced often, accompanying life-changing events including, but not limited to, marrying Mike, becoming a mother, and Pilates instructor training. So when I am seized by the desire to “give notice,” mentally, I do. In my mind, I convince myself that I am no longer required to do this – and this gives me the freedom to move forward, without worry of failure.
I honestly don’t know if they even looked for my replacement at that first job. Maybe that HR guy knew, in his gut, that I was being misdirected by mine. That all I needed to do was “quit” to take the pressure off, and I’d be fine. That I was simply scared. But I know now what lives in my gut, so if my gut says “get out,” it’s really the fear talking – fear, which I no longer let take the wheel.
I was born in Oswego, NY,
"I had always wanted to be a writer, but was impeded by the belief that to be a writer one had to be extraordinary, and I knew I wasn't. By the time I was ready to give up my academic career I had realized that while books are extraordinary, writers themselves are no more or less special than anyone else." The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield