Ian wants me to ride the Griffon at Busch Gardens.
“Mom, you have to face your fears.”
But I have faced my fears, many because of him. He made me face my fear of reproducing that which I hated in myself – anxiety, anger, bouts of darkness.
He made me face my fear of becoming a parent, which I had a better example of by watching Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, than by observing those who raised me.
He made me go into the ocean, where I felt little besides fear, full of creatures which look upon me as I do the centipedes in my bathtub– “you don’t belong here, so I am going to have to kill you now.”
And those fears I had already faced – Ending my first marriage, six years in – fraught with disagreements, two people going in opposite directions. I was afraid to leave, afraid of hurting my husband, disappointing our
families, friends, not to mention, Jesus. I was prepared to be alone – preferable to the loneliness of an unhappy
marriage.
Then marrying again – a man with whom I was much better suited, but a possible flight risk at the time.
I faced my fears by moving to Richmond, where I knew no one besides the person I came with. I
faced my fears by taking jobs for which I had no qualifications, but enough smarts to fake it until I figured it out.
I face my fears every day – don’t we all?
“Mom, you have to face your fears.”
But I have faced my fears, many because of him. He made me face my fear of reproducing that which I hated in myself – anxiety, anger, bouts of darkness.
He made me face my fear of becoming a parent, which I had a better example of by watching Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, than by observing those who raised me.
He made me go into the ocean, where I felt little besides fear, full of creatures which look upon me as I do the centipedes in my bathtub– “you don’t belong here, so I am going to have to kill you now.”
And those fears I had already faced – Ending my first marriage, six years in – fraught with disagreements, two people going in opposite directions. I was afraid to leave, afraid of hurting my husband, disappointing our
families, friends, not to mention, Jesus. I was prepared to be alone – preferable to the loneliness of an unhappy
marriage.
Then marrying again – a man with whom I was much better suited, but a possible flight risk at the time.
I faced my fears by moving to Richmond, where I knew no one besides the person I came with. I
faced my fears by taking jobs for which I had no qualifications, but enough smarts to fake it until I figured it out.
I face my fears every day – don’t we all?
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